They say to love someone is to leave a little piece of your heart in their keeping. I never understood that quite as deeply as I do now. Since becoming a mother, it feels as though my heart no longer belongs entirely to me. It consumes my daily routine.. I cant seem to enjoy a good brunch with friends without thinking of my babies, I cant seem to sleep without waking up at 4 am automatically just to check that all is well, I cant seem to function without thinking of my girls. My brain just wont switch off, I am physically and mentally tired and yet I feel so fulfilled its so hard to explain it and do it justice in words. Being a mom of twins is not easy. There are days when I am so exhausted that I can barely put a sentence together. But of course it is challenging, I am giving this motherhood  thing with my whole heart. But I guess that is the beautiful contradiction of motherhood: it can leave you depleted and yet make your heart feel fuller than it has ever been. Having children also filters out a lot of my life. I became intentional with how I spend my time because I simply have limited time now, so I save it for the moments, people and experiences that truly matter. 

People ask me how I do it without going insane, ("TWINS!")  to be honest I dont know too. It is a delicate balance between trying my best and knowing when to delegate. Its understanding that the days may be long but the years are short. Its learning how to filter unsolicited advice and opinions. Its embracing the fact that happy mom makes for a happy home. It is trusting myself that I am capable of doing this. It is all a learning journey for me, one that I went through myself because I dont have mom friends, and all I can say is I have a newfound respect for women. I dont think I have fully rested physically or mentally for the last three months. But as long as my little family is happy and healthy, the mama heart in me is happy :)