Entering one of the happiest and most transformative chapters of my life.
Amidst the anxiety, the endless “Am I doing this right?”, the sleepless nights, and all the babysitter dramas, I somehow met a version of myself I’m genuinely proud of. All those years of 'doing the work', sitting down and being accountable with feelings, reading loots of self development books, learning, growing, and now.. I can finally see it. It’s showing in the way I think, the way I love, the way I handle the hard days, and the person I’ve become.
As a baby photographer, newborn life has never been unfamiliar to me. I’ve spent years surrounded by newborns and hearing my clients’ stories, but experiencing it for myself is an entirely different story. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I am soooo grateful for mine. so, so grateful I cant even express it into words.
I have never loved anyone the way I love my daughters. I would do anything for them. I feel like the old version of me has quietly disappeared, and in her place is someone stronger and more grounded than ever.
The love, the lows, the joy, the exhaustion. everything comes at full force and I am still getting used to this. It has been a learning journey, trying to let myself be vulnerable and truly feel joy without being anxious of it being taken away. I can be fully present in the beautiful moments without needing to protect myself from the possibility that they might end.
Maybe this is another part of the work: learning not just how to survive the challenging moments like ivf and bedrests , but how to fully receive the good ones like now.
