Random night thoughts

The thing about getting older (and I mean it the most positive way),  is you become more mindful of what consumes your energy. You start to understand that nothing in life is forever, and everything is just a borrowed experience. Not a lot faze you because it is what it is.. and you sort of adapt to a more pragmatic approach to life. Small moments become significant, everyday predictable routines become comforting. 

Boring is good, boring is great . It is 9 pm as I am writing this post, after a hot shower and clean satin pajamas and skincare. 

I don't know why the concept of 'getting older' gets such a bad rep. For me, Twenties are for hustling, working on yourself and embracing your shadow self, going through heartbreaks after heartbreaks, being vulnerable and easily triggered, dealing with university grade anxieties, not being secure in our own skin. 

Now that my twenties are coming to an end, the dust has settled and I see things more clearly. I guess you reap the harvest that you planted earlier and have the time to wind down and relax for a bit. Confidence comes with experiences and learning what you like and dont like; what you tolerate and wont tolerate, who you want to spend time with vs who is not a match to your values. I realize very little thing is worth my attention, and I don't take things personally anymore. As mentioned above, it is all a borrowed experience. Now I get excited about self growth - as years go by, settling down and living responsibly becomes attractive. 

 But I digress. 

I realize my recent blogposts has an underlying theme - self care, settling down, self growth, easing into a quiet era. But I guess that has been the gist of the priorities of my life. At least for the past few months. 

On a completely different tangent, despite what some people might think from knowing me on a surface level (or reading this blog), I am not the most positive person. But I am not a pessimist either.

 I dont see the glass half full or half empty - its just half a glass of water. 

 I am not the type to believe the world is a good place and filled with good people. Life is not always peaches and cream and I don't pretend to always be the bigger person. I dont believe in broadcasting my everyday life on social media (like the norm that it is right now) purely because I think most people are just nosy.  *Believe it or not, the things I post on this blog are not personal. because what I post here are conversations that I am comfortable speaking about, even to someone I recently just met. * 

But I also know wholeheartedly that good people exist, because I am surrounded by them and, god willing, will always be surrounded by them. I believe in living intentionally and making the best of whatever life throws at us. To make bad days productive because there are always something to learn out of it. 

On girlie shenanigans

Being a sleepy girl in a busy world is hard. Maybe it is just the factor of aging but I now take 'sleep' very seriously, and this includes my 'wind down' routine. A friend asked me what is my definition of a relaxing perfect day (pick of the moment: being a coastal grand-daughter and living near the beach) and all of my answers ended up with a night time step by step wind down routine. 

I think more than ever, it is harder to embrace stillness and quietude in a world that is constantly buzzing, and finding the right products to bring you one step closer to serenity is worth the investment. This is how I deal with anything.. life can throw me challenges and curveballs but I bounce back fast after my self care routine. 

So here is to a quiet era, to getting back in shape, keeping circle small, leveling up, traveling more. 

To making more time for self care.

Products that are  simplyy the best  for good rest: 

1. Jo Malone - Wild Bluebell 

A daily scent for me, nothing too strong and powdery, just a hint of bluebell. I love perfumes that give of "fresh from the shower" clean vibes and this hits the mark. I also like spraying it once in my pillowcase a few hours before I sleep. 

2. Fresh lip balm - Petal/ Summerfriday lippies

I used fresh lip balm during my uni days in Sydney and I have not stopped yet. Summerfridays were a recent gem gifted by a friend.

3. Asian Boss Girl Podcast 

Love a podcast that talks about all aspects of girlhood- the good, the bad, the challenges. 

4. Satin Pillowcase and pajamas

5. Olly Mela Gummies

for days when I wake up late or have too many thoughts to rest peacefully.

6. Weighted blanket and Ergonomic Eyemask

GAME CHANGER.

7. Fresh Rose deep hydration moisturizer 

years of using this and my dry skin loves it

8. Dr Schartz Apple stemcell 

The only face mask that works for me

9. Loccitane body milk concentrate

10. Frank body scrub 

To scrub the whole day away, especially when I had a bad day I like to scrub the stress away metaphorically

Imagine this : a long day at work, going home to a hot bath with your favourite lavender bath salts, hair oils and scrub. Smelling and feeling like a bunch of roses. Lathering thick face/body/hair lotion for hydration, sinking to a soft crisp sheet under weighted blanket, putting your phone on silent and enjoying a night movie/book before drifting off to sleep.  Heaven on earth.

booktok

 It is the end of another week. Another Saturday coming to an end. I am sitting here in my room in fresh pajamas at 8 pm, after a long, tiring productive work day.  I just noted down plans and to do lists for next week, and I am waiting for my husb to finish his shower so we can have a movie night in of our current favourite series (The Resident). It is quiet moments like this where I can pause, take a breather and tell myself , "oh wow, life is good ".  Above everything else, the people I love are healthy and happy, what more can I ask for?  

A lot of people asked me how is marriage life and I would always respond that nothing has changed. In a way that is true, my schedules remain the same, I still maintain the same everything, the same routines, the same jobs. 

But three months into marriage I do feel a difference. It is the change in mentality, the gradual shift in priorities and the inevitable maturity that comes with it. And a sense of peace and security in myself that I have never felt before. Its like I know my place in the world now, the roles and responsibilities that I have, the people and things that are worth my energy and time. How I am lovingg this journey and feeling :)

With that in mind, here is a list of carefully curated books that I accumulated from 5 years ago, that played a big part in my emotional maturity. 

1. The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Roz

2. The School of life - an Emotional Education

3. The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

4. The Tibetian Book of Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche

5. Ikigai - The Japanese secret of long and happy life

6. Power - Robert Greene

7. Quiet - Susan Cain

8. For one more day - Mitch Albom (anything from him is worth the read but this one hits the hardest)

9. The things you can see only when you slow down - Haemin Sumin

10. Becoming - Michelle Obama

Best investment ever!

Coffeeshop

I met myself in a coffeeshop today

She just turned 18

I turn 28 in a few months 

Both of us sitting with our matcha lattes, punctual to the dot. Her with a book and me with my kindle. We studied each other for a while and I noticed with a smile how some things remain the same, even after so much have happened. 

I could see her staring at my ring, she told me she cant wait to experience falling in love with her husband. I excitedly told her to be patient because its like having a forever sleepover with your bestfriend. 

She asked about married life and a lot of questions about her future partner. I laughed and told her that she already met him from years ago. 

She dont know what to do with her life, I told her we are lucky to be doing what we love everyday. She told me she struggles with anxiety every night because the future is so uncertain, I smiled and told her the future is bright, and is unfolding in the right timing. And no, it has been years since I have insomnia, we sleep pretty soundly at night now. 

I look at her and see all the naivety, the belief that the world is always a good place and everyone is good at its core. I dont say anything because she desperately needs that character development to be where I am right now. I tell her I know all the silent battles she faces. 

She tells me she always second guesses her decision and I told her I've never been more comfortable and sure with my life choices. She says she misses her family back at hometown and I told her to enjoy university life abroad to the fullest, because in a few years time we get to go home everyday anytime we want. 

She excuses herself and said she is late for her sister dinner date at a sushibar in Sydney, I laughed and told her little did she know, we will be closer than ever while navigating life. 

US diaries

Here goes a bit of snippets from my US trip. I did prioritize video over pictures so there is not much to see, and my camera battery shut down in LA.. but anywayssss. This trip was so special to me, I have always wanted to visit the states since years ago, and I have heard a lot of good stories about it too. 

The MET

Central Park - one of my bucketlist

Prettiest terrace, reminded me of Chuck and Blair 

Good, but not the best

Pretty brooklyn

"One Iced Nola with oatmilk pleaase"

First shot of nyc in wall street at -18 degrees, cold cold shaky hands 

Katz Delicaseen, from when Harry met Sally, worth every bite

My friend bakes better cookies that is harder to get than Levain and I am not biased about this

5 trips to magnolia bakery just for the banana pudding - #love

Chicago - such a pretty and windy city 

Not captured - LA, the best part of the trip. My friends and I, we like to joke how nice it would be, living in LA. Sipping our oat based matcha boba from urth caffe while heading to our pilates session in our aloyoga fits. Hiking on the weekends, shopping in beverly hills and eating boiling point for dinner. 

love life laugh

A trip to remember ‪‪❤︎‬

On wedding prep

I got married this month (December) but I officially began compiling inspiration a little more than a year ago. I know I dont work well in high pressure situation, so I started early. Creating mood boards was one of the best process of wedding planning. Looking back, its funny how preferences or style can change is just the span of a year. I know I am going to look back and think of my wedding a lot, so let this be a post for future reminisce's sake.  And yes, I create detailed moodboards for all my vendors so there is no communication issues :)

The original decor -main hues of blush pink,  roses and hydrangea, with garden statues, hanging chandeliers and bright light. 

Final decor - chandelier and flowers stayed but changed my mind to a dark ambience, with sage green as the main color pallette. Simply because I got bored with pink this year.

Morning look plan - wanted to go for something sleek and timeless with a hint of lace and pearls.

'Most ardently' because I love pride and prejudice. 

Bridal robe plan - flowy and comfortable but still romantic 

Final choices - 2 weeks prior to my wedding date I decided to go for long sleeved lace gown instead. Some people thought I got the inspiration from Kate Middleton (yayy!) but actually, I wanted to go for something that looks like 'kebaya'. Something polite and a bit traditional for my morning procession with my family and loved ones. My final veil reads "long live all the magic we made"

I knew I wanted a flower 3D fabric from the start. And I wanted pink peonies for my night reception. 

Fun fact - I almost set my wedding theme to Swan Lake (hence, the headpiece and ballerina themed dress).

Invitation proposal before I changed the theme yet again to sage green

In the end, everything just came together perfectly. In lovee with my wedding dress fabrics, the way it hugs my body perfectly, but most of all the way I am relatively comfortable throughout the day. 

Officially saying goodbye to this bridal era, and now embracing my wifey lifey lol.