On wedding prep

I got married this month (December) but I officially began compiling inspiration a little more than a year ago. I know I dont work well in high pressure situation, so I started early. Creating mood boards was one of the best process of wedding planning. Looking back, its funny how preferences or style can change is just the span of a year. I know I am going to look back and think of my wedding a lot, so let this be a post for future reminisce's sake.  And yes, I create detailed moodboards for all my vendors so there is no communication issues :)

The original decor -main hues of blush pink,  roses and hydrangea, with garden statues, hanging chandeliers and bright light. 

Final decor - chandelier and flowers stayed but changed my mind to a dark ambience, with sage green as the main color pallette. Simply because I got bored with pink this year.

Morning look plan - wanted to go for something sleek and timeless with a hint of lace and pearls.

'Most ardently' because I love pride and prejudice. 

Bridal robe plan - flowy and comfortable but still romantic 

Final choices - 2 weeks prior to my wedding date I decided to go for long sleeved lace gown instead. Some people thought I got the inspiration from Kate Middleton (yayy!) but actually, I wanted to go for something that looks like 'kebaya'. Something polite and a bit traditional for my morning procession with my family and loved ones. My final veil reads "long live all the magic we made"

I knew I wanted a flower 3D fabric from the start. And I wanted pink peonies for my night reception. 

Fun fact - I almost set my wedding theme to Swan Lake (hence, the headpiece and ballerina themed dress).

Invitation proposal before I changed the theme yet again to sage green

In the end, everything just came together perfectly. In lovee with my wedding dress fabrics, the way it hugs my body perfectly, but most of all the way I am relatively comfortable throughout the day. 

Officially saying goodbye to this bridal era, and now embracing my wifey lifey lol. 

on forever

No one really talks about the inevitable 'emotional maturity' you have to go through the day you decided on forever. Small but significant moments that reminds you things will never be the same again, no matter how much you wish it to be. The time you pull out a brand new planner for 'wedding prep', was when things felt real. The moment you realize this is the last birthday spent under your family roof, the last few times you get to see your pets greeting you every morning, the last few months/weeks/days of nightcaps with dad. The last of everything, a chapter coming to an end. Back then (and honestly until today) I felt the ache of that loss tremendously. 

That sense of familiarity and comfort,  how many times have I taken that unconditional love for granted?

Just a quick disclaimer - I tend to be sentimental and I feel things too deeply. So any type of 'goodbyes' always tend to hit me hard. I know a lot of people who goes through life phases and transitions so easily, unlike me who has to take some time to process and adjust. Most people might feel like its no big deal, that I am crying over nothing, but what can I do, right.. no matter how much I try to avoid it, Its just in my dna to over feel. I have not decided yet if this is a blessing or a curse but one thing for sure - this is why I am so highly selective of the people I care about, that I dont easily let people in. That its not easy for me to love someone. I simply dont have the emotional capacity for it. 

 

In a sense, I cannot control how I overfeel, overlove, overthink, but at least I have a say in the who/what/why. And even then, looking back I think not all of them is worth it. 

Back on 'emotional maturity', I think Ive always been sheltered all my life. And the past few years, getting out of that comfort zone has been a hard ride. The feeling that I am truly on my own now, the urge to work on self growth becomes compelling. But, as mentioned on this post, I like where I am now, who I am becoming. I keep repeating this but as I get older I just prioritize peace over everything else. And of course this mindset just comes so handy all the time. 

bangkok diaries

I knew I needed a short getaway after my wedding planning (and wedding) , because during the final few weeks things did get hectic and super busy. My dark circles got so bad to the point my friends reached out to me out of concern. 

I just wanted to be somewhere where I can put my phone on silent, get out of bed when I feel like it, and relax in peace with minimal interactions. Maybe its an introvert thing - but being the center of attention at my wedding for the whole day drained me out. 

As enjoyable, memorable and smooth as it was, I am just so glad that it is finally over and I can focus on adapting on my new routine. 

another revelation - being married does not feel any different at all. 

First glimpse of bangkok 

Foodie trip, because this trip is strictly for enjoying foods and relaxing

Checked in 

Not a coffee drinker, but somehow when I am on vacation I always look for iced lattes. 
Factory Coffee is tucked away on the streets of Phayathai district and is always overcrowded with tourist -but for a good reason. 

Aunglo by yangrak 

Another incident happened that made this whole trip memorable. But I am still too tired and lazy to recount the story. Maybe another time 

On life lately

My mom has always told me to work on things people cant take away from me. It was only years later that I truly grasp the importance of this lesson. This includes honing your skills, building a healthy growth mindset, working on our character, knowledge, protecting our integrity and treating our body well.  Things that you hold within yourself that cant be taken away. Things that are personal, internal and intrinsic.

Lets just say the past few years have been a learning curve and work in progress. 

anyways, life lately (in short and sweet fashion)

(1) 

 My acupuncturist mentioned I have 'qi deficiency'.  Hence, why I am getting diligent in consuming my prescribed herbal concoctions, cutting out cold water, and exercising regularly. One of the main symptoms I experience is brain fog. I really dont feel like myself this month - I forget appointments and deadlines, I snap at people a lot, I am always sleepy and tired and my hands are always so cold. I also zone out and detach a lot (more than usual) . God bless my family and my friends, I am not the best person to be around these days.

(2)

A form of therapy for me is just hanging out with my friends. . There is just something special with friends who you dont have to explain yourself to, people you dont have to put on a facade. They just accept you as you are (through seasons of life). 

These days we talked a lot about our stages of life, the different-yet-same challenges and milestones that we are currently facing. 

Sushi and yap - cant go wrong with this

(3)

The month that I re-ignited my love for photography. A lot of people told me I am lucky to have found my passion at a young age, and I completely agree. There are few things that compare to the feeling when I am completely immersed in my art, when time flows by fast because you are just so preoccupied.

But when you turn a passion into work, it comes with a lot of external pressure and obligations.  At least thats how it was for me sometimes. Taking a work break (photography)  to focus on wedding planning has been the best decision so far. Taking a breather to just recalibrate and purchasing another camera (strictly for fun, not for work) made me remember the main reason I got into photography - my love for documentation and turning every picture into a story. 

(4)

Agenda for these past few years - Working and building my little montessori school. 

Theme of the month : Home economics

(5)

Sweat sesh/classes with my girlies. Its has been 6-7 months since I routinely exercised, and while there are not much differences on the physical aspect (my weight and physique remains the same), when the endorphins kick in life feels as good as ever loll. 

ps. based on my blogger stats, there are much more viewers to this blog than I anticipated. In that case, hello hi, welcome to my safe space :). I hope whatever it is you take something positive out of my experiences and posts. 

on love .

 I like to keep my most precious people and moments private. Even my closest friends know I don't really share much on my personal life but especially on my relationship. I guess I am more of a listener than a talker, and even here I am always cautious of what I post.

 I prefer sharing about my perspective on things rather than delving on my personal life.

But then there are days like this, when I think of my relationship and look back at the growth, all the commitment in getting the work done, the good times and the challenging times that only the both of us know, the moments that are simply priceless. 

I guess a snippet of what I have been feeling wont hurt. 

Its been a while since ive written this post but the same sentiment lingers. 

To my Dodo, my kindergarten - university friend, my boyfriend turned fiancé, my husband to be in less than 3 weeks. It was and always have been you from the start. 

I dont know how to articulate this properly. Its just that being with you... everything just makes sense. I am a better person, a stronger, smarter and wiser person because of you . To be in relationships where the other person makes you a better version of yourself, has always been my dream. Dear dodo, you are probably the most annoying person in my life. You know exactly how to push my buttons and you especially love it when I get mad, because as always in 5 seconds I cant help but laugh. I hate that you can make me laugh even on the times when I feel like you deserve a smack. But I would not trade this for anything else in the world. To experience life side by side with you will not be something I take for granted, everr

Thankyou for loving me well, and I dont only mean through flowers and letters, but through your unconditional, unwavering support, for the times you get angrier at my situations than I am, for the times you showed up continuously, for the efforts, for showing me the sincerest form of love, for that safe space, and for loving me as I am. For always making me feel included in your life, updating me every second of what you are doing since unidays HAHA, for always making sure my bucketlist gets ticked off, for always saying goodnight even when we are in the middle of an argument,  ..and so many little moments that will take forever to write. 

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, or perfect love... only two perfectly matched people who continuously puts in the work in building that relationship. I am not perfect but with you it is easy to want to put in the work and effort to be each other's best partner. 

If this is not true love then I dont know what is.

ps. excuse my grammar. 

On letters to my bridesmaids

  Due to personal reasons, we decided not to have bridesmaids/groomsman for our wedding. Nevertheless, love letters to my girls are due. They have in some ways made a huge impact to my life, played a big part in my personal growth, and been there through the good times but most importantly the rocky roads life sometime throws at us. 

To my girlies, my #teambride, in no particular order, here goes my words of love : 

To my ex-roomate turned sister chromatid, to my literal "one call away".. where do I even start? Because of you I believe in divine timings, because once upon a time the universe really did align for our paths to meet, and I gained someone so special in my life. Thankyou for setting the friendship benchmark so high, for seeing me through all my bad sides and still seeing the good in me, for always inspiring me to be my better self, for always being my constant in this roller coaster of life. We have been through so much together, literally. You have seen me at my very worst and at my very best and yet you love me all the same. I say this to everyone, the biggest thing I take from IB is our friendship. 

To my 'positive energy' sisturr, the one who I just 'click' with from the moment we met. We often discussed about raising our vibrations, on how to be the best version of ourselves. We call each other out when necessary when we fall into negative energy, and self roast (sometimes with dark humour) at our attempts to 'better ourselves' HAHA because at the end of the day life can be challenging but heyyy we did our best. Did you know, back when we are still in the same city our weekly 'matcha therapy sessions' and random sleepovers was something that I look forward to every single week. Thankyou for that safe space. I appreciate you so so much! ps. legal familyy so soon🫶🏻

To my soul sister, the one who is older than me but who I see as my lil sis LOL, I hope you know how much I appreciate this precious friendship! I am sooo proud of the person you are becoming. They say friendships beyond the 8 year mark last forever, so I guess you are stuck with me for life heehe. I know you know I always will back you up no matter what situation life throws at you. We tell each other this everytime : genuine friendships are so rare, how lucky that we found each other 🫶🏻 From all stages in life together (almost 20 years in the making) , you know I luvv u so much sisss! Sometimes I feel protective of you because you have such a pure heart and you give the benefit of the doubt to people too much. Thankyou for always being my listening ear and cheerleader, and for trusting me even when I give you harsh life truths. Lets grow stronger and smarter together siss! 

To my highschool sistur(s), we have seen each other grow up, back each other through seasons of life. And although all of us live in different cities now, the love and connection remains as strong as ever. I am so grateful for this supportive friendship. Because even in the midst of our different schedules and clashing timelines we still manage to be updated on each other's milestones. Thankyou for always looking at me in a positive light although I am far from perfect. To my oennie who is the strongest person I know and probably the one who introduces me to dark jokes, the one who writes handwritten letters and has this way with words. Thankyou for teaching me how to think with logic instead of emotions, and above all else how to love myself before anyone else. And to my typo sista who is miles away but close to heart, thankyou for always seeming to know whenever I am down, for reaching out at the perfect moment all the time, for listening patiently and giving logical advice. Both of you are so yin and yan but somehow we complement each other well. I know without a doubt that no matter the distance and timezone we will always be each other's support system. To more milestones togethers please <3

To my fearless sista (ikyk),  the one who understands my sarcasm like no one else, the one who I dont have to filter my words or myself because our friendship thrives on authenticity and 'tough love'. Someone who shares my love for taylor swift and spinning class. To be in friendships that comfortable we understand each other in just a glance (almost 20 years in the making). Friendships where we dont take each other's  'direct words' to heart because I both trust we have each other's best interest in mind . My partner in crime, my literal partner to almost everything! You know I do cherish you genuinely, and as you always tell me you are "one call away" 24/7, the same sentiment goes to uuu sis, okii?

To my bold sistur, the one I recently got close with but I guess when you know you know. And I know from the moment our conversations flowed so naturally even when talking about hard topics, that this friendship is just meant to be. I am usually a private person but somehow conversations on life flows easily. With you literally no topics is off limits LOL and I guess thats why we got close - because we found out both of us, when triggered, are the same kind of crazy and unhinged. I can say the craziest, most deranged thing and you would  always respond with "ok but same". I am excited for what is to come for you sistur , and to more memories together pleasee.

To my crybaby sister, the one who cries when I cry, my work partner turned matcha partner, therapist, etc. The one who defends me and who I see as my cutie lil siss. We also only know each other a couple of years but you are probably the one person who frequently seen me stressed out and drained HAHA.  Thankyou siss for showing me what innocence and pure friendship feels like. Thankyou for always motivating me when work gets overwhelming and for giving sound advices for my personal life too. You are wayy younger than me but so much wiser *sometimes*.  I dont know what it is but I feel like my inner circle are truly people that just radiate sincerity and good vibes. 

Last but not least, to my little sister, the one who has been my literal day 1, who I have shared all my secrets, my life mistakes, my not so proud moments, my 'dark days', and still sees me as somebody to 'look up to'. Someone who knows literally all my bad moments and does not judge, who knows every single life problems I faced in life, who have seen me at my best and worst, seen me crying, heartbroken, happy, thriving and everything else in between. Someone who I know without a doubt will back me up forever and always. I dont think there is any other type of love that compares to family. I always tell this to everyone - you are two calendars behind me but you are stronger, more mature and braver than I ever will be.  I dont think words can ever do justice to describe what we shared, the trust that we built.  But I will just say this - in another lifetime, it would be my greatest wish and blessing for us to be sisters again. 

To me, sisterhood and friendship is one of the most sacred form of love, something that I hold closely to my heart and something I dont take lightly. I believe trust, loyalty and mutual respect is something to be earned and once you have that it turns to something you fiercely protect every single day. This quote from The fault in our stars hits deep  -" maybe I am not loved widely but I am loved deeply and isnt that more than most of us get?"

 Quoting (read: paraphrasing) Rachel Green from friends : I will be okay with whatever life throws at me because I have my girls. 

Paris through my digicam

 As people like to say, "our perception of time really does speed up as we get older". The experiences that I penned down here seem to live more vividly in my head. So let this blog be a memento of all the good moments.  

Here goes a belated post for the city of love, may I preserve and remember vividly forever my first Spring in Paris.

Captured from my digicam - Selina during the ride from Charles De Gaulle airport. At this point everyone was asking me if I am disappointed. "so this is the paris you've been dreaming of for as long as you remember?" 

first glimpse from the taxi - to be honest, not impressed HAHA BUT I just felt soo happy. We picked Paris as our prewedding destination because Dodo knows how much it meant to me, its been on our bucketlist since 8 years ago when we first dated. 

First meal at Pink Mamma. Prior to this we strolled around the neighbourhood and I had my very first parisian croissant. The feeling of walking down the street, hand in hand with my fiance, exploring a new city with my sister and parents. I think March was the happiest month of 2024 for me. First, the Eras tour and now this trip. There is simply no feeling to describe my happiness at that particular moment.  It is the little things like this that brings me true joy. 

My papa who loves paris as much as I do, although he wont admit it. The older I am, the more I realize that I get a lot of my personality from my dad. My love for documentation, my introvert quality, "actions instead of words", the power of quiet strength. From him I learnt that being calm and quiet is a powerful attribute, not every single thing in life needs a response. Protect your energy. 

The shot I took because I just want to eternalize what I felt at this moment in time. Complete gratitude and happiness. Completely living in the present moment. 

My Fiancé, through thick and thin, for better or worse. I cant believe we are finally tying the knot very soon .

In the city of love with my most loved ones . Simply irreplacable

Selina

Meeting at Cafe Kitsune H-1 before my prewedding shoot with @VideoParis. Another one of my bucketlist ticked off. Okay, lets just establish the obvious that throughout the trip I am at peak happiness 

Wanted to eternalize this moment as well. I am usually a logical person but Paris makes you a romantic like that. We were talking about the future, going through our personal goals together while eating local takeaways from the neighbourhood. I had just bought tons of pastries from the bakery across the street and we opened up a few can of parisian beers to chill before dinner. I remember this day so vividly. I had woken up at 5 am and just stared out of the balcony window while everything was still so dark and cold. The streetlamps were on and everyone was sleeping. The air was so cold but somehow I felt warm. I remember thanking the universe for always being in my favor, for always granting my every wish. And for not granting some wishes because better options are in store. I truly believe the universe is always conspiring in our favour, there is just a reason for everything. 

Train ticket to the south of france. Fun fact : almost did not get tickets due to complacency. Went to cote de azur to fulfil mom's bucketlist and it was soooo prettyy. I will say this again, it was truly the best trip of my life. 

Carette - overhyped. Good hot chocolate but everything else was just okayy.

just okayy!

Captured during my last day at France.  Ended the trip with a grateful heart, truly. My close friends know just how much this trip means to me. I dont think words will ever do it justice. I just wont shut up about this trip - in fact, my trip to paris is the main reason I got back to blogging again. Some moments you just have to document.

All I can say is, at this point in life, I am so happy! I truly could not ask for more. I am surrounded by the people I love (sometimes I dont think I deserve this), my wishlist somehow gets ticked off every time, I am constantly evolving and growing to my higher self. I know this all may sound so cheesy and rose tinted, but who the heck cares! I am happy and thriving at my life <3