On letters to my bridesmaids

  Due to personal reasons, we decided not to have bridesmaids/groomsman for our wedding. Nevertheless, love letters to my girls are due. They have in some ways made a huge impact to my life, played a big part in my personal growth, and been there through the good times but most importantly the rocky roads life sometime throws at us. 

To my girlies, my #teambride, in no particular order, here goes my words of love : 

To my ex-roomate turned sister chromatid, to my literal "one call away".. where do I even start? Because of you I believe in divine timings, because once upon a time the universe really did align for our paths to meet, and I gained someone so special in my life. Thankyou for setting the friendship benchmark so high, for seeing me through all my bad sides and still seeing the good in me, for always inspiring me to be my better self, for always being my constant in this roller coaster of life. We have been through so much together, literally. You have seen me at my very worst and at my very best and yet you love me all the same. I say this to everyone, the biggest thing I take from IB is our friendship. 

To my 'positive energy' sisturr, the one who I just 'click' with from the moment we met. We often discussed about raising our vibrations, on how to be the best version of ourselves. We call each other out when necessary when we fall into negative energy, and self roast (sometimes with dark humour) at our attempts to 'better ourselves' HAHA because at the end of the day life can be challenging but heyyy we did our best. Did you know, back when we are still in the same city our weekly 'matcha therapy sessions' and random sleepovers was something that I look forward to every single week. Thankyou for that safe space. I appreciate you so so much! ps. legal familyy so soon🫶🏻

To my soul sister, the one who is older than me but who I see as my lil sis LOL, I hope you know how much I appreciate this precious friendship! I am sooo proud of the person you are becoming. They say friendships beyond the 8 year mark last forever, so I guess you are stuck with me for life heehe. I know you know I always will back you up no matter what situation life throws at you. We tell each other this everytime : genuine friendships are so rare, how lucky that we found each other 🫶🏻 From all stages in life together (almost 20 years in the making) , you know I luvv u so much sisss! Sometimes I feel protective of you because you have such a pure heart and you give the benefit of the doubt to people too much. Thankyou for always being my listening ear and cheerleader, and for trusting me even when I give you harsh life truths. Lets grow stronger and smarter together siss! 

To my highschool sistur(s), we have seen each other grow up, back each other through seasons of life. And although all of us live in different cities now, the love and connection remains as strong as ever. I am so grateful for this supportive friendship. Because even in the midst of our different schedules and clashing timelines we still manage to be updated on each other's milestones. Thankyou for always looking at me in a positive light although I am far from perfect. To my oennie who is the strongest person I know and probably the one who introduces me to dark jokes, the one who writes handwritten letters and has this way with words. Thankyou for teaching me how to think with logic instead of emotions, and above all else how to love myself before anyone else. And to my typo sista who is miles away but close to heart, thankyou for always seeming to know whenever I am down, for reaching out at the perfect moment all the time, for listening patiently and giving logical advice. Both of you are so yin and yan but somehow we complement each other well. I know without a doubt that no matter the distance and timezone we will always be each other's support system. To more milestones togethers please <3

To my fearless sista (ikyk),  the one who understands my sarcasm like no one else, the one who I dont have to filter my words or myself because our friendship thrives on authenticity and 'tough love'. Someone who shares my love for taylor swift and spinning class. To be in friendships that comfortable we understand each other in just a glance (almost 20 years in the making). Friendships where we dont take each other's  'direct words' to heart because I both trust we have each other's best interest in mind . My partner in crime, my literal partner to almost everything! You know I do cherish you genuinely, and as you always tell me you are "one call away" 24/7, the same sentiment goes to uuu sis, okii?

To my bold sistur, the one I recently got close with but I guess when you know you know. And I know from the moment our conversations flowed so naturally even when talking about hard topics, that this friendship is just meant to be. I am usually a private person but somehow conversations on life flows easily. With you literally no topics is off limits LOL and I guess thats why we got close - because we found out both of us, when triggered, are the same kind of crazy and unhinged. I can say the craziest, most deranged thing and you would  always respond with "ok but same". I am excited for what is to come for you sistur , and to more memories together pleasee.

To my crybaby sister, the one who cries when I cry, my work partner turned matcha partner, therapist, etc. The one who defends me and who I see as my cutie lil siss. We also only know each other a couple of years but you are probably the one person who frequently seen me stressed out and drained HAHA.  Thankyou siss for showing me what innocence and pure friendship feels like. Thankyou for always motivating me when work gets overwhelming and for giving sound advices for my personal life too. You are wayy younger than me but so much wiser *sometimes*.  I dont know what it is but I feel like my inner circle are truly people that just radiate sincerity and good vibes. 

Last but not least, to my little sister, the one who has been my literal day 1, who I have shared all my secrets, my life mistakes, my not so proud moments, my 'dark days', and still sees me as somebody to 'look up to'. Someone who knows literally all my bad moments and does not judge, who knows every single life problems I faced in life, who have seen me at my best and worst, seen me crying, heartbroken, happy, thriving and everything else in between. Someone who I know without a doubt will back me up forever and always. I dont think there is any other type of love that compares to family. I always tell this to everyone - you are two calendars behind me but you are stronger, more mature and braver than I ever will be.  I dont think words can ever do justice to describe what we shared, the trust that we built.  But I will just say this - in another lifetime, it would be my greatest wish and blessing for us to be sisters again. 

To me, sisterhood and friendship is one of the most sacred form of love, something that I hold closely to my heart and something I dont take lightly. I believe trust, loyalty and mutual respect is something to be earned and once you have that it turns to something you fiercely protect every single day. This quote from The fault in our stars hits deep  -" maybe I am not loved widely but I am loved deeply and isnt that more than most of us get?"

 Quoting (read: paraphrasing) Rachel Green from friends : I will be okay with whatever life throws at me because I have my girls. 

Paris through my digicam

 As people like to say, "our perception of time really does speed up as we get older". The experiences that I penned down here seem to live more vividly in my head. So let this blog be a memento of all the good moments.  

Here goes a belated post for the city of love, may I preserve and remember vividly forever my first Spring in Paris.

Captured from my digicam - Selina during the ride from Charles De Gaulle airport. At this point everyone was asking me if I am disappointed. "so this is the paris you've been dreaming of for as long as you remember?" 

first glimpse from the taxi - to be honest, not impressed HAHA BUT I just felt soo happy. We picked Paris as our prewedding destination because Dodo knows how much it meant to me, its been on our bucketlist since 8 years ago when we first dated. 

First meal at Pink Mamma. Prior to this we strolled around the neighbourhood and I had my very first parisian croissant. The feeling of walking down the street, hand in hand with my fiance, exploring a new city with my sister and parents. I think March was the happiest month of 2024 for me. First, the Eras tour and now this trip. There is simply no feeling to describe my happiness at that particular moment.  It is the little things like this that brings me true joy. 

My papa who loves paris as much as I do, although he wont admit it. The older I am, the more I realize that I get a lot of my personality from my dad. My love for documentation, my introvert quality, "actions instead of words", the power of quiet strength. From him I learnt that being calm and quiet is a powerful attribute, not every single thing in life needs a response. Protect your energy. 

The shot I took because I just want to eternalize what I felt at this moment in time. Complete gratitude and happiness. Completely living in the present moment. 

My Fiancé, through thick and thin, for better or worse. I cant believe we are finally tying the knot very soon .

In the city of love with my most loved ones . Simply irreplacable

Selina

Meeting at Cafe Kitsune H-1 before my prewedding shoot with @VideoParis. Another one of my bucketlist ticked off. Okay, lets just establish the obvious that throughout the trip I am at peak happiness 

Wanted to eternalize this moment as well. I am usually a logical person but Paris makes you a romantic like that. We were talking about the future, going through our personal goals together while eating local takeaways from the neighbourhood. I had just bought tons of pastries from the bakery across the street and we opened up a few can of parisian beers to chill before dinner. I remember this day so vividly. I had woken up at 5 am and just stared out of the balcony window while everything was still so dark and cold. The streetlamps were on and everyone was sleeping. The air was so cold but somehow I felt warm. I remember thanking the universe for always being in my favor, for always granting my every wish. And for not granting some wishes because better options are in store. I truly believe the universe is always conspiring in our favour, there is just a reason for everything. 

Train ticket to the south of france. Fun fact : almost did not get tickets due to complacency. Went to cote de azur to fulfil mom's bucketlist and it was soooo prettyy. I will say this again, it was truly the best trip of my life. 

Carette - overhyped. Good hot chocolate but everything else was just okayy.

just okayy!

Captured during my last day at France.  Ended the trip with a grateful heart, truly. My close friends know just how much this trip means to me. I dont think words will ever do it justice. I just wont shut up about this trip - in fact, my trip to paris is the main reason I got back to blogging again. Some moments you just have to document.

All I can say is, at this point in life, I am so happy! I truly could not ask for more. I am surrounded by the people I love (sometimes I dont think I deserve this), my wishlist somehow gets ticked off every time, I am constantly evolving and growing to my higher self. I know this all may sound so cheesy and rose tinted, but who the heck cares! I am happy and thriving at my life <3

on 'How to be a bridechilla :)'

 I know I am going to be a very chill bride from the start. 

Even when my friends warned me continuously about wedding stress, the 'inevitable big fights' when the pressure gets real, and the amount of responsibilities and planning..  Guess what? so far I have experienced none of that drama, everything just unfolds perfectly. But with that being said, to be a bridechilla you do need to take meticulous planning and effort too. There is no such thing as blind luck or wishing for the best. You work for what you want.

This is what works for me :

1. Start early 

I cannot stress this enough. Do your research early, and know your style. You dont have to decide what you want immediately, but do enough research to know what you dont want. That way, you dont waste time being indecisive. Set a budget, pin point the vendors that you like and voila.. just like that, you have a solid starting point. 

2. Ditch the concept of perfection 

This is a mindset that has helped me stay on the bridechilla track lolll. There is no such thing as perfect wedding. If 'perfect' is your benchmark, you are setting yourself up for failure. Do the best that you can, and just let things unfold. 

3. Know your priorities 

I used to have a wedding wishlist. But as I get older my priorities change, and now I lean more towards convenience and practicality. For instance, I have my heart set out in Paris for my prewedding session , that was one of my priorities and non negotiable he he. The rest I am pretty practical when deciding. 

4. Delegate 

The things that I dont need to manage, I let others manage. This is why investing on a good EO is one of my top priorities. I literally told my EO to just give me a checklist and make sure I am on track.  I cant take credit for being chill, its just that I am good at deciding which task I need to focus on, and letting others handle the rest. In terms of planning the miscellaneous (invitation design, bouquet, entertainment), some might be surprised but I am truly not particular about the type of flowers, the design, the color pallete.. basically I am just open to suggestions. I just go with the flow and once I made a decision I store it away and dont look back. I know the decisions I made will ultimately reflect my personality. However kaleidoscope(d) it might be.

I dont really care for how 'perfect' my wedding is going to be. I'd rather focus on making my big day comfortable and memorable for me rather than for other people - and that itself takes away a lot of pressure. And if things outside my control went outside the plan, then so be it. ( I love this phrase! Ive been using it all the time to the point it drives my friends crazy loll).

Just remember, weddings take up only a day of your life for others to see, it is marriage that is truly worth celebrating. 

Now this is something that we cannot be 'chill' about as it takes effort to earn and build a strong relationship, every single day. 

The commitment, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, through sickness and in health. 

Focus on the things that truly matter. 

(Disclaimer - opinions are purely my own and what works for me, there is no right or wrong mindset for wedding planning)

Penang getaway

first order of business.. dad's favourite restaurant. 

Night walks - this family loves their cardio and getting steps in.

Heavy breakkie - not a breakfast person but everything was 10/10

Cute stalls

More cute stalls

Heavy lunch

Heavy dinner

Did not realise I needed a break until we landed. Sometimes I guess I just need to get a breather and recalibrate to function properly. Now I am back home with full stomach and even fuller heart <3 

side note : my digicam is getting unreliable, I should get a new travel camera 

end of year things

Another year is ending soon. Usually at this time I like to reflect back on the past months. I rarely have any regrets because I trained myself to make conscious choices. And I do believe in the power of writing down your goals - pen to paper or the digital way, whatever floats your boat. Call it manifestation, law of attraction, or even dumb luck..  call it anything you want - but I always somehow tick off the majority of my goals every year.

I like the person I am becoming. I like knowing what and who are my priorities, what I want and dont want out of life. I enjoy being decisive with my life, being intentional with my actions. I am so over the "it is what it is, just go with the flow'' damsel in distress bullshit. You work for what you want.

Life truly gets more peaceful when you are focused on your personal goals, and when you can establish a clear line between what you care and what you dont. You delegate your time more wisely, because the rest is just noise. If you really think about it, life is so simple but humans like complexity. Someone once asked me why I could be so 'laissez-faire' about situations they know they would act out, but I always tell them the same thing - as long as it doesnt cross my personal boundaries, involve the people I care about, or affect my life in any way at all, it is not worth my energy - as simple as that. I like minding my own grass. 

But with that personal development comes a new pet peeve. I am easily exhausted around people who are constantly in low vibrational energy, people who are insecure and negative self talk, who doesnt 'do the inner work' and does not have self awareness, people who checks on other people instead of focusing on their own growth. I guess I can understand we all have bad days and that makes us humans, no one feels their best 24/7, but I think it is important not to fall into the rabbit hole of that negative cycle. 

This is why I never force connections and friendships, I believe we naturally gravitate towards people of the same frequencies. I dont care if I sound arrogant when I say this, but I dont need friendships that is not stemmed from mutual respect, love and sincerity. The ones that does not add value to my life in any way. 

I always tell my closest friends to be mindful of who they spend time with because we are the average of the 5 person we frequently meet. 

What I am trying to say is, based on my own personal experience, doing the inner work (something as simple as figuring out what you want in life and then consciously moving towards that goal) is so worth it. You attract what you think. What you think becomes who you are.  

Above everything else, please just focus on your own life

Nightingale

“If I have learned anything in this long life of mine, it is this: In love we find out who we want to be; in war we find out who we are.”

The book that has been recommended by BookTok so frequently that it has always been in my radar. There is just something about books being on the bestseller list and being hyped over lots of people. While I dont often go for historical fiction, I like established credibility. For me, there are few things better than the feeling of purchasing a book knowing it is going to be a good read. 

Told in different perspectives between two sisters, (one is sensible, quiet and mature while the other young, stubborn, rebellious), this book takes you on a journey from the start of Nazi occupation in France until the liberation by the Allies. It talks about love and sacrifice, resilience and growth. How war brings out the worst in human nature, but also draws out the best. Most of all, it talks about Hope. 

This book kept me up all night, feeling nauseous and hollow, and still kept me thinking long after I finished reading it. With every chapter I could picture so clearly the surrounding and the emotions behind it. I cannot stress how many times I have to pause between chapters just to get a breather and collect my thoughts. 

It is refreshing to get strong female characters, it is even more refreshing to learn about the crucial role women played in the war. 

 

This quote stood out to me : 

”Men tell stories … Women get on with it. For us it was a shadow war. There were no parades for us when it was over, no medals or mentions in history books. We did what we had to during the war, and when it was over, we picked up the pieces and started our lives over”

I just think it is always good to expand our historical knowledge, reading stories that teaches you the real meaning of life. What truly matters when everything is taken into consideration. Sometimes I get so caught up in small things, superficial things, but it is through stories like this that grounds me back. 

on friendships .

 

I had the most random thought today. 

How lucky I am to have people that are always "one phone call away",  no matter the distance, timezone, and situation. And while I am lucky to grow up in a loving family and have a supportive partner, I am specifically referring to friends in this post- people who are not bound by blood, but nonetheless feels like family.

Friendships in your late 20s are weird, because we are all dealing with different life paths. When we no longer share the same routine and stage of life, it gets harder to relate to each other. And its too easy to outgrow connections if both does not put in equal effort to keep in touch, even if we live in the same city but especially if we are in different timezones. 

So let this be an appreciation post to my inner circle, the people who keeps me rooted on my core values, who keeps me laughing when times are hard, people who have continuously proved that unconditional love exist even on a friendship level. 

Life can sometimes be challenging, but it helps to know there are people backing you up and wanting to see you thrive. Thank you for always picking up my phone, for always offering a listening ear when things get too overwhelming and I needed a good cry. For the countless reminder that I am never alone, because in a world full of changes, the friends I have now is one of the constants in my life. But most of all, thank you for calling me out whenever I am wrong, for not judging my life mistakes and my outlook on things, for helping me turn from weak and naive to hopefully someone wayyy smarter and stronger. For making me laugh when I feel like crying (and also crying when I cry HAHA), for being my emotional cheerleader, for just providing a safe space to vent.. the list goes on.

They say to be loved is to be seen, and what a blessing it is, to be able to be unapologetically myself without burden . 

Sooo if you are reading thisss, most likely its youu! Becausee I dont really publicize my blog other than to my inner circle. You know I love youuu lotss and Im so lucky to have you guys in my life.  <3

like I said, genuine connections are so rare, and so hard to earn.. I have always believed in quality over quantity. 

I guess I got lucky like that .