2/8/18


Every month I make small resolutions and every one of them just gets ticked off one way or another. Ive never been a fan of 'new years' resolution. I think the concept of new year new me is bullshit. You can choose to set goals anytime you want. The idea that you have to wait 365 days to improvise yourself is just ludicrous. But with that being said, this year I am determined to work on self improvement. I think the last two years Ive been the most self-centered Ive ever been. Too oblivious and too ignorant at bigger world problems and stressing too much on unimportant issues.
Ive already planned to treat myself better too this year, starting from prioritising my health (both mentally and physically). This means Im going to eat even more mindfully (since i went off track this holiday) and get back on track with my gym schedule again.
I still hold the belief from last year that I dont want to go through life just for the sake of society's term of success (graduating uni getting a high paying job). I just hate how intelligence is measured on a screwed up grading system. Because in the end examination scores are just an indication of how well a student can memorise terms. I want to actually gain and retain information instead of just passing. Its better for my mental health too, because trying to cram textbooks may help me get good grades but I almost always end up mentally dead and over-caffeinated.
I also aim to be more productive with my time, and to always be mentally present in every situation. Im beginning to distance myself from my phone while having outings with friends,
 and instead of watching korean dramas Ive subscribed to tedtalks and news channels just to make myself more aware of things that matter. Sometimes I feel like there is so much going on in the world and here I am being so self centered and so ignorant.

I guess my resolution this year is to be a better person overall. And to never lose my sense of self no matter what happens in the future. A friend once told me one of my biggest flaw is measuring understanding, love, actions, trust based on how I'd give it out to people, and apparently I am facilitating my own disappointment. Not to mention being unfair to others. Im still trying to understand that everyone has their own unique way of expressions and mindset but Im getting there.

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