8/27/18

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Dragged the boyfriend to a painting class with me last week and we got to draw our own variations of Totoro. To be fair, 'drag' would be an overstatement lol I am so lucky and grateful how Dodo always willingly participates in whatever I catches my eye. Just before the class he told me he was nervous to paint but a few hours later the teacher commented she notices how dodo smiles to himself as he paints eheheh how cutee! Both of us agreed painting is something we will definitely want to do again in the future. For me the two hours painting was so therapeutic. Being a person who is always anxious and overthinking, there are very few situations where I can just stop and breathe and be in the present state. We also went to a Harry Potter Orchestra last weekend (something Dodo willingly participates again) and it made me feel so nostalgic. I have read and watched all of the Harry Potter series and played all the online games available. Its just too bad we did not get the best seats! nevertheless I still enjoyed it immensely and in the quest to convert Dodo into a potterhead. 

University-wise, I am constantly trying to be on top of the game. I am taking three difficult mandatory courses for my major (because I suck at numbers and statistics) and scared brainless that I might just fail the course. 



Update:
went to another painting session event and this time both of us were ashamed of our work because we think it looks like primary school art works. 



8/25/18

love





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I’m sitting next to you in the library (pretending to be watching my lecture recordings) while you work on your group assignment. We just had our burrito bowls an hour ago and are now sharing my favourite strawberry smoothie from boost juice. My stomach is so full but my heart is fuller. The weather is so windy but my heart is warm eheh. It has been like this ever since you came into my life, being with you feels so natural and days has been so full of adventures and laughter. I always go to bed feeling so fulfilled and grateful! Thank you for coming into my life and for spoiling me with your love, for always being so patient with me and making me laugh when I wanted to cry, for always letting me know you will always have my back, for always making my heart full of butterflies, for always willing to listen me out during rants and arguments, and for being the bestest boyfriend and best friend I could ever ask for. You add so much love and joy into my life, and you have always been the calm to my storm. I like who I am with you and Im so excited for more future memories eheh 

I love you 
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8/13/18



Sydney is so pretty 

7/16/18



As far as I remember I hate the season of waiting. The fear of the unknown or the unexpected paralyses me and consumes my whole head. It is funny how I usually can handle the unexpected much better than I give myself credit for. But the fear of change, the phase where I am acutely aware that things might not ever go back the same way, or not turn out the way I want to, can be very intense and exhausting. This can be related back to at least 80% of my life experiences, from preparing for the day of my presentation (consciously depleting my mental health), preparing for a short ldr from my boyfriend, the days before meeting new people..the list goes on. As you can tell, I am a very anxious person. It baffles me at times because more often than not, I am usually calm and collected when the change takes place. I adapt easily to changes, but I am also a very sentimental person. My adaptability does not mean I welcome changes, although in the end I know I will be better off. And all these times the main way I have been dealing with it was to 'self protect' myself by expect the worse. I used to think that by expecting the worst I would not be vulnerable to hurt, betrayal and disappointed but I quickly realised that while that may be true, I am also letting fear control my life.



Been watching Greys Anatomy and I have been loving all of their episodes. I like movies that I can learn or relate to and the subtle comments made by the characters in the scenes just tugs at my heartstrings lell


Reminder to myself




6/30/18

Dodo

Dodo appreciation post


As per usual I always have trouble articulating the thoughts in my head. I often struggle with wordings and starting paragraphs to the point where I just put off posts and give up writing altogether. When it comes to my boyfriend, (or rather, writing about him), there is a different sense of difficulty in compressing all my feelings into mere string of sentences. Thinking of Dodo just gave me this overwhelming feeling of happiness, disbelief and total gratitude. 



I dont even know where to begin. All I can say is we complement each other so well and being with Dodo feels so natural and so right it made us laugh at how we used to be just friends, oblivious to the fact that we are so compatible. We joked a lot about how the universe is always conspiring for us to end up together. Just the other day we found photographs of us side by side, barely one years old. Thinking back, our lives had always been aligned to each other's since day one, we are almost always in close proximity. And in a way, as cheesy as it sounds, I like the idea that even nature forces agree that we are meant to be with each other.




Here is the thing about Dodo, he is the best boyfriend I could ever wish for. I can be very petty and moody but he always handles me so well. Once I got so pissy and moody because pms and instead of getting mad for taking it out on him he tried to get me to a petshop to look at dogs! He is also the sweetest ever. But besides that he is also my bestest friend, someone I can talk to about anything, who I can let my guard down, go on dates with no make up on and lazy clothes, complain about life, deep talk about my fears and insecurities, who encourages me to become a better person and someone who makes me feel comfortable and loved in every situation. It also makes me happy how we bring out the best in each other, and how much we have grown as a couple. He makes me the happiest I have ever been.
It also helps how we share the same sense of humor. 


Happy 6th months bebiiii!! Life with you has been so full of love and happiness and I am never taking it for granted ever!  So excited for what is to come,  I love you 


6/19/18


Food for thoughts

I am very much aware that I am an emotional person. Reflecting back on many stuff I think many conflicts could've been avoided if only I did not feel too much and too deeply. With that being said it is tremendously hard for me to change a trait that has been so ingrained in my personality. As an INFJ one of my dominating behavior is to absorb energy from the external environment, and while this allows me to me able to emphasise with others more,  more often than not Im always so drained. Hence I have decided to master the art of detachment from situations and people unless they are part of the circle I care about.
There are very few moments and situations in life that are able to grasp my full attention and have me transfixed. I am still working to live in the present but up to this day I am still constantly worrying and overthinking about future events. Once it got so bad that I was always in a state of anxiety. This is probably why I am always so appreciative and grateful for the moments of tranquility and mindfulness. Today is just one of those days where I get immensely absorbed in a book, transfixed in my revisions and actually being interested to learn, and looking at my pinterest board. Its a good feeling, being so sure of myself and knowing I can handle any obstacles in life no matter how hard they may be. I read in an article once, and it really resonates with me

; in a world full of schemes and changes, it could be so hard to trust, especially not knowing the outcome in the end of it all. But here is the catch, the majority of us have been putting trust in the wrong hands all along. We are all not immune to adversity. And sadly everyone is capable betraying and disappointing. Situations might not work in our favor as well. This is why instead of putting trust in others, or our diplomas, or work, we should put that trust in ourselves and grasp that no matter what we face you will be alright. Trust that you will get back on your feet again.

 I know i am rambling idk what im talking abt too

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