throwing it back to more carefree days


I feel like its been ages since I posted a real entry. I dont mean posts where I upload a set of brunch pictures, scribble in some captions and click the publish button. I meant posts when I wrote without filters, and just pour out my mind.But I feel like these days it is kind of hard for me to share my thoughts because I am literally at the stage of my life where I get thrown at different situations and have to make snap decisions with big consequences. Also, at this point of life I am just unclear about every single thing, from the course I am taking, what I aspire to be in the future, what I am meant to do, the list goes on. Sometimes I feel like I do things just for the sake of it, and not because it is something that I want to do. At the end of the day I just want to tick off experiences, gain knowledges (that I am actually interested in), and learn at my own pace. It gets stressful for me when I am forced to have different chapters memorised by each week without actually understanding the content. Getting grades is easy if I dedicate my hours dead memorising terms, but as of now I just cant be damned to do that. What is the point of this, I just feel like learning should be fun. I really do like learning but when it gets forced my brain dont want to cooperate.
 It gets so confusing to put it in words, and it has not been helping with my tendency to overthink situations. Bottom line is, I just dont want to feel unsatisfied everyday. I feel like Im not using good use of my time. Head is literally so confuused right now.

I hope this is just a phase. Hopefully this will pass because feeling like having no purpose is no fun.Truth is, right now I dont even know what I want. But who really does? We are constantly changing, morphing, growing.

blejndejndwknew I dont know what I am typing. I just cant wait for Christmas break to come and experience the Japanese culture again (read: yummy desserts, clean toilets, picturesque sceneries). If I had it my way, I'd be traveling every month and immersing myself in different cultures.

Butttttttt here is looking on the bright side, mid breaks is coming soon and I will be visiting Melbourne next week. A break will do me good. And needless to say I am so stoked to be meeting the dysfunctional girlfriends again! We definitely have looots of catching ups to do xx

this link below helps a bit :)