2015 reflections



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Today actually marks my one year point from starting abroad studies and I would've thought that I'd already be used to the feeling of leaving home but no no no. Although Im still working at it! I have to admit that it beats the feeling last year, when I have zero knowledge about everything that was about to happen. I will put it bluntly and say that 2014 has been one hell of a shitty,shitty ride and I spent 70% of the year feeling depressed and crying the crap out of myself. I have no regrets since rocky roads will only make us stronger, and I made friends who completely changes my mindset and urges me to be a better person so Im forever grateful. Anyways, Im determined to make 2015 a better year. Ive gone through my old journals and surprisingly, I somehow always managed to fulfil all of my new years resolutions! I remember back in december 2013 I wrote that I'd love to be taller, and this year I noticed that I grew by 2 cm. *yes it was barely an inch but the point is, I grew!ok. 
With that in mind, I have written another set of resolutions that Im keen to see it happen this year! 

When you see mom packing the Christmas tree away, thats when you know holiday is officially over and it is time to go back to reality. yikes.
One thing I will definitely miss is the lightning at my house. My family adores big windows and tries to fill in the house with as much natural lightning as possible!

                                    *mom look at me and smile RIGHT NOW*   *click!*


No more christmas, soo depressing! Although I have to say that im quite excited for red pockets......

I learnt to appreciate everyday, mundane stuffs so much more! I spent christmas eve at my house, frantically messaging my friends while trying to calm Mayo - who was terrified of the firecrackers and disappeared inside the kitchen cabinet. Then I watched mom's Chinese medical drama, curled up in the comfort of the blanket and finally dozed off to sleep while reading Nick Vujicic's 'Love without limits'. It was a far cry from the scene I imagined in my head ( parties, countdown on rooftops, funky beverages and glittering confettis), but I realised that I wouldn't have it any other way. I was perfectly content, starting a brand new year in the comfort of my home and in the company of my family. One statement from Nick Vujicic's book stuck to me : 

''you have to find your purpose in life, and that's when you will gain true happiness''.

A year ago I would not be able to understand this concept. I was bored stiff of my predictable life in medan ( school, tuition, home, repeat) and I begged and begged for my parents to let me study abroad and after months of reasonings, their gave in. You know the quote which goes something like

 '' Isn't it funny how life works? You wish and wish for something to happen and when it does, all you want to do is curl back down and hope that It will be over soon?'' 

 During the first few months, I can relate to it 100%. Now I yearn for some predictability in my life. This year is going to be so much tougher in terms of education and I am already counting down to february 14th, where I will be back home again *whee* . 
Pessimistic attitude aside, I daresay that Ive became more mature a person and changed from a person who sees the glass empty, to the girl who is starting to make lemonades out of the lemons that life threw and begin to fill in that freaking ugly glass. 

Even if so far the ugly glass is still empty

The authority, the boss of the Irwan household

Oh, and please do check out @coco.mayo on Instagram, my mom recently rekindled her passion for photography and has started to post daily pictures of Coco and Mayo! ( Sometimes the rest of the family contributes). Last night, we taught Coco skateboarding and he loves it! So who knows what you'll see in the future !

Im thinking about posting more blog posts throughout the year, hopefully school wont get in the way too much!